Shortly after his second birthday our son Ben was diagnosed with moderate to severe hearing loss in his left ear, and severe to profound in his right. In laymen terms, he is essentially deaf.

I’ll never forget that Friday morning in June, it was a beautiful day outside, only my wife and I spent more than an hour that afternoon sitting on the couch in our Pediatrician’s office crying. It can be devastating at first, to know that you are the parents of a child with a disability. Ask any expecting parent what they hope most for their unborn child, and more often than not the answer is to be healthy and normal. We immediately concluded that our child is deaf, and so he is not normal.

Thinking back I don’t know why it was such a surprise. He passed his newborn hearing screening, but there was some evidence of a hearing problem well before he turned two years old.

At about nine-months old the daycare told us he wasn’t responding to his name, something we also noticed at home. At the age of one he didn’t say any words, and he didn’t show the same desire to watch kid videos or sit and listen to a book being read that his older brother did at that age.

At that point, we began talking about it more and more, sharing stories about what we thought he heard and didn’t hear. But, we always came back to those times at home when we swore that he heard us. Tell him to go take a bath and he immediately ran down the hallway to the bathroom. Surely he heard and understood that request. We were convinced that he was a stubborn kid, with selective hearing, who would be a late talker.

However, we still had our doubts at the age of 15 months, so we brought him to the Audiology Clinic for his first booth test. The results were inconclusive due to fluid in his ears. I’m pretty sure he hears me said the audiologist, but I can’t be certain because of the fluid.

We again confided in our Pediatrician, discussing with him our hearing and talking concerns as well as the results of the booth test. We suggested ear tubes to release the fluid, but our pediatrician suggested otherwise stating that tubes are typically used to release fluid in kids who get multiple ear infections, something that didn’t happen to Ben.

We decided to stay the course and watch Ben closely for further signs of hearing loss, but fully expecting him to begin talking and reacting to sound as a normal 15 month old would. We were operating under a disguise of calmness, not wanting to over react, telling ourselves that kids grow and learn at their own pace. But, I now think that we were also somewhat in denial. One year later we brought him in for his second booth test. This time the results were conclusive, Ben has significant hearing loss.

The diagnosis set off months of independent research. We quickly became versed in the terminology and aware of what government resources were available. As the dust began to settle, it became obvious that we had to make a life altering decision on Ben’s behalf, one that he couldn’t speak his mind on.

There are basically two communication options for a 2 year child with Ben’s level of hearing loss: 1. learn sign language, or 2. learn to speak after receiving the ability to hear from a cochlear implant. With a 2 year old, an option must be chosen quickly and adhered to religiously, because it sets forth how that child will be educated and prepared for life as an adult. There is no time to waste, the earlier the child begins to learn a form of communication the better.

As Ben’s parents we needed to make this decision for him. We gathered tons of information around both options from numerous sources. In addition to online research, we talked to an ENT doctor, audiology and speech professionals, other parents, and educators. We took all the information for what it was, didn’t take any sides, and ultimately made the decision that we believe Ben would have made.

Ben is now 4 years old and wears a hearing aid on his left ear and has a cochlear implant in his right. He is talking more and more every day and is on track to enter a mainstream kindergarten classroom at the age of 6, a goal we set for him when we decided to have his right ear implanted. He currently attends a school where the classrooms include children with and without disabilities, a mix of typical and non-typical peers. Exposing Ben to learning alongside typical peers now will hopefully ease his transition to a mainstream classroom in the future, where he may be the only child with a disability.

We chose auditory verbal therapy as our approach for teaching Ben to listen and speak. We attend weekly therapy sessions with a certified therapist and Ben, and are active partners in the teaching process. The therapist provides us guidance on how to utilize and integrate the learning principles at home. Also, we coordinate with his teachers and other government provided speech and hearing professionals to ensure that these same principles are used when interacting with Ben. Like with most learning, consistent repetition is important.

We have experienced a lot since first learning of Ben’s hearing loss. We don’t make any decisions, medical and/or educational, without fully understanding the situation and all the available options. If we don’t understand we ask. We accept our responsibility to continue Ben’s education at home as well as to ensure that all available external resources are utilized and working together.

We have also learned a lot more about Ben. He is independent, attentive to his surroundings, and likes to take charge in all situations. He is all boy, enjoys anything with a motor, and never backs down from a fight with his older brother. But most of all, we have learned to never treat him like he is anything other than normal.